Change

I have to thank all the people who have helped me and been there for me over the last couple of years. I realise my life is going to change and I think that was why I was feeling so nervous yesterday and I felt rather lonely because I'm leaving what was in a lot of ways a safe space. There has been a lot of presure and responsibility but not as much as there's going to be in the future.

The thing is in peoples eyes I've been so competent and unfazable and to me I'm just me. I know I've got a quick mind and I've lots of experience in life often gained the hard way and this gives me an edge at times because I've had to think quickly and to the point. But it doesn't make me quite as knowledgeable and competent as people think. Even my being funny I think grew as a survival skill both as a social thing and to help protect my mind at times. People think it's a sign of great intelligence or so someone said the other day. Well, maybe that's funny