Deal breakers

Again from a board I'm a member of. Don't feel like posting there at the moment because I'm still so whoozy from this illness.

So, deal breakers in a relationship. What would make me want to call it a day?

The first thing I thought of was violence. And that's physical, mental or emotional violence. I mean there's no point being in a relationship if that's what's going on. I'd be out straight away.

Another thing. Reading a post on another board that I belong to brought this to mind. I'd be out of any relationship where discriminatory language against women was used. Just shows where the mindset is and I wouldn't want to be with someone who felt like that about me. It's difficult because it's so set in our language and I occasionally slip up, but I guess I can reclaim the words if I want, but really I don't want to and would rather find other ways of expressing myself. Also if there were any signs of that kind of mindset.

The same applies to racist views and language or anything along those or similar lines in a person's view of the world. Wouldn't stick around.

Nor would I be around if the person thought it was ok to be condescending. No point being there if that's the way they feel.

Unfaithfulness too.

Lack of compassion.

And there would have to be no smoking.



Anyway those are the first things I thought of. Haven't read the whole thread yet,maybe that'll make me think some more.

Refusal to talk things through I guess comes under emotional violence because it becomes a power over tactic. If people won't talk things through with you then there's not much chance of putting your side forward and there being a chance of compromise to make things work. If you don't talk you shut the other person out. But that would be one, been there before along with the mind games that go with it.



I'll read the thread tomorrow. It'll be interesting to see what other people have to say.